Before and After Being a Published Author

It's been six months since LOSING FAITH, my first published novel hit the shelves! SIX MONTHS! Already!!! I'm excited by this milestone and have been celebrating, but it has also made me a little introspective about the whole process.

So today I thought I'd share with you an honest post about how my thoughts and attitudes and practices have changed through the process.

I doubt if I'm a reflection of all other writers or even a majority, but one thing I've noticed is that for me, there seems to be something magical about the six-month-post-publication mark. Things have changed for me once again, so I'll share a bit about those changes too.

Note - these are in no particular order, just the order I thought of them. And also I know it's probably full of typos, but I'm busy with March Madness, so please try to ignore those sorts of things.

In each of the following areas, I'll let you know what I thought, how I felt, or what I did:
1. Before my first book came out
2. After my book came out
3. 6 months after my book came out

Reviews
Before - I thought I had thick skin. The thickest skin. I'd been a dancer and taken plenty of criticism for over thirty years. I figured I could accept any amount of harsh criticism of my book, because really, hadn't I done that already through several years of editing and revisions? At this point I knew some people would love my book, some people would not, and that was totally okay with me.

After -  Omigosh, my book is in print and there's NOTHING I can do to fix the problems people are pointing out! Besides that, this has been my dream to see my book baby out there, but there's this one reviewer who's going out and telling people not only how much she hated it, but also instructing people NOT to buy my book! I want so badly to write to her and engage in Bad Author Behavior, and it's almost impossible not to. Instead I'll cry myself to sleep.

6 months after - I can honestly say that things have changed. I can get through entire days, sometimes entire weeks without checking GoodReads to see what people are saying about LOSING FAITH. When I do check out reviews, even if they're negative ones, they no longer send me into a defensive tailspin. But I have come to realize that reviews are really a whole different beast from critiques, and there's not much you can do to prepare yourself for that difference. During my early post-pub days, I honestly thought this time would never come where I could relax, take a step back, and have some perspective. I thought I was just more neurotic than every other author out there and I would never stop caring what people thought. But I can honestly say, I'm back to caring about my writing and my characters more than anything and enjoying writing what's in me. The anxiety of what others think has mostly died down. But I'll tell you, in some ways, the last six months were the longest of my life.


Sales
Before - I would have been happy if I sold a few books to people who would love it.

After - I started to think of it more as a business. My books need to sell if I'm going to continue to write and publish. Not only that, but I've seen how much my agent and editor and publishing team have put into my little debut book, and they all need to make a living. It's now important to sell a zillion copies - for them more than for me.

6 month after - Sales is pretty much my biggest concern when it comes to LOSING FAITH. Will I sell enough to make my agent and editor and publisher and favorite bookstores happy?


Bestseller lists
Before - If enough people really liked my book, maybe it would hit a bestseller list. Wouldn't that be awesome and exciting and wonderful!?

After - It seems like people know when a book is going to hit the bestseller list, and since no one knew with mine, I guess it probably won't, but I still don't really understand how it all works.

6 months after - I'm understanding more and more about lists, and they usually involve a big publisher push and large initial print runs. It's easier to see this as something with less gray area now, less wondering and getting hopes up or down. I'm truly happy for friends that make "the list" and no longer feel even a twinge of jealousy. Again, I'm feeling much more distanced and seeing it all much more in terms of business decisions.

The Writing
 Before - I wrote or revised or otherwise worked on one of my books every day. Or at least six days per week.

After - During my book launch, life got crazy and I took a few weeks off from writing, but came back to my writing schedule quickly.

6 months after - I continue to write daily, plugging along, hoping for the best. In general, my writing schedule hasn't changed that much since I first got serious about it.

Time, and how much of it I feel like I have
Before - it seemed like I had about 23 hours in a day. Being a writer, at least for me, has the effect of making me feel like I have just a little bit less time than everyone else in the world.

After - I could swear I only have six or seven hours a day, whereas everyone else has 24. But I'll make it work. I'm a machine.  People don't really NEED six hours of sleep a night, do they? I'll eat while I homeschool my son, or wait, maybe we don't really have time for school today...

6 months after - life has gone back to normal. Normal for a writer, anyway. I still feel like I have a little less hours in a day than others, perhaps 22 hours per day now, since I need to find some time for promo and marketing and interviews, but this is definitely a pace I can keep up.

Next  and future books
Before - publishing future books sounded like a nice idea, but one that I wasn't terribly concerned with. Getting my foot in the door, seeing a book with my name on it on bookstore shelves - those were the things that mattered.

After - Oh gosh, am I going to be a One Hit Wonder? Or worse, what if my one and only book isn't even a hit? What if this thing I've worked hard for and dreamed about is over in pretty much the blink of an eye? What if only five copies of my book sell, and publishers never want to hear from me again? Every struggling-to-get-published writer would give almost anything to be in my shoes, and what if I mess it all up and can't find a single other thing my editor, or any editor, likes?

6 months after - Well, I sold another book, so I'm not a One Hit Wonder. And the review anxiety has subsided, so I'm not terribly stressed about how my next book will be received. Of course this could certainly just be the calm before the storm...

Awards
Before - The literary awards were one of my main goals. Once I got a book out there, if some committee from some organization recognized it as noteworthy, I would have achieved remarkable success, at least in my own mind.

After - Wow, there are a lot of awards, and many, many that I've never even heard of! But also, there are a lot of books. A LOT more books than there are awards! And there are a lot of books winning awards that I didn't even really care for. This awards process really is very subjective.

6 months after - I'm okay with the fact that my book hasn't won any big awards to this point. (It has been recognized and nominated, which I'm very grateful for, but no actual awards to list after the name of the book or anything). I'm starting to think in these terms: If I won a big award with my first book, in some ways it would seem too easy, and I think I'd value awards a lot less in my mind. Also, I wonder if future books would feel like failures if they didn't achieve the same award status as the first.

Promo & Marketing
Before - I had heard various stories from other authors about what works and what doesn't. I wanted to try a bit of everything, since it was my first time out of the gate.

After - Trying a bit of everything is harder than it sounds! Where has all my time gone? Does my family know who I am anymore? When can I stop this insane blogging schedule without anyone noticing?

6 months after - I think I did a bit too much, but I honestly can't pin point anything I would change! Going to BEA last year probably didn't help my book any, but I had the time of my life hanging with writing buddies, getting my hands on exciting new ARC's, attending publishing cocktail parties, and presenting my book in a few co-author events. My blog tour was a lot of work, but also a ton of fun. I can barely pull myself away from blogging and tweeting now, though it definitely takes up far less time than it used to. I don't know if I'd mail postcards out to bookstores again. I had a few positive responses, but that took a lot of time and effort.

Cover art
Before - My cover has to be amazing to sell my book. I don't know exactly what that should be - I'm not a visual artist or anything, but I could envision some kind of girl on a cliff. Whatever it is, it has to be perfect and I was so nervous to see it for the first time.

After - There are so many different tastes in cover art. My publisher has some very talented people on staff and I'll trust them that the cover of LOSING FAITH is exactly what my book needs.

6 months after -  I've had so many compliments on the cover art of LOSING FAITH! Simon Pulse definitely knew what they were doing, and I'm no longer nervous about what they'll come up with for APPETITE FOR BEAUTY. I'm truly excited to see what visual they think will go with the book and I don't have any pre-conceived ideas with this one. I admit, I will be excited the first time I get a cover that has a real-life photo shoot and live model to go with it, but I'm in no rush for that.

Blurbs
Before - As a fairly new reader, I'd picked up several books because of blurbs from well-known authors, because I often didn't know where to look for my next book. When it came to my own book, I thought it was important to get at least one well-known author behind it. My editor and publisher didn't think blurbs were as important and so I personally went after only one blurb, but the author was too busy to read my book at the time.

After - I was pretty jealous of other author-friends who had great blurbs on their books.

6 months after - From what I've heard, it's pretty clear to me that blurbs really don't sell books. But I think they're still nice to have. I'd really like to get at least one blurb for APPETITE FOR BEAUTY, but I've also heard that going after blurbs can be a very uncomfortable process. Still, I'm a bit sad that LOSING FAITH didn't have one, though not jealous anymore. I definitely hope to get at least one in the future.

Fame
Before - When I was just out of high school, I pursued acting and I wanted to be famous. As I got closer to getting my first book published, though, my attitude changed a little. It was a bit odd having people know who I was and recognize me, even just online. I started to feel like I had to watch everything I said everywhere I went.

After - During and just after launch, I felt like a ping-pong ball, being bounced between realms where people knew me and loved my writing, and people having no idea who I was or why they should care at all about me (even bookstore managers!). It was a strange place to be. I started to feel uncomfortable leaving my house looking grubby, just in case I ran into people who had heard of me.

6 months after - I'm happy once again to go to the grocery store or gym in my sweat pants and glasses when I need to. As far as fame goes, I've decided that I don't really want to be a Stephanie Meyer, and honestly, I'd love to sell a zillion books for my publisher's sake, but this little tiny taste of fame is quite enough for me.

Presentations and Speaking Engagements
Before - I don't have anything worthy to say.

After - I don't have anything worthy to say, but if I have any opportunities, it would probably be helpful for book sales if I pretended I did.

6 months after - Maybe I have a few worthy things to say, but I don't think I'm organized enough or have enough time to put them into an enjoyable presentation. Maybe one day.


That's what I've come up with so far. I feel like just in the last couple of weeks I've been given a huge dose of Perspective - something you're not allowed to get a prescription for until you've been published for at least five months. And I'm sure there are different and higher quality dosages of Perspective to come, but this is just what I've found so far and where I'm at. I hope it helps for people who are pursuing/waiting for publication. And for those who have been through it, I look forward to hearing if you've found any similarities in yourself!

Expectations and Disappointment

When my husband tells me he'll pick me up at 5 p.m., I can usually be sure I won't see him until approximately 6:30. This used to really annoy me, and I admit, from time to time it still does. But for the most part, I've readjusted my expectations for him. He doesn't have a good sense of time, and that's not likely to change any time soon. It only took me, say, ten years or so to figure out this little nugget of wisdom.

I think this conundrum translates really well to publishing, at least it does for me, and I *think* that I'm figuring things out in this arena a little faster. Part of this is probably because I had such little in the way of expectations before starting on this publishing journey. But being included in several author groups, I've been able to learn a lot about the business along the way. The problem is, this business is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.

For example, when I heard from an author friend that she received 30 ARC's for her debut novel, it would have been easy to assume I would too. It would be easy (and exciting!) to think about all the things I would do with my ARC's to promote my precious first book. Or when I heard from another author friend how quickly movie rights sold for her book, it would have been easy to let myself rejoice in the fact that mine surely would too. But unfortunately, these comparisons, while they can be enlightening about what *can* happen or give us a quick high, they can also be a path to waves of disappointment.

Unrealistic expectations can wreak havoc on the emotional system, and I've had my ups and downs like anyone else. I find it's easier to assume the lowest of expectations: i.e. assuming I probably would not be one of those rare people who gets an agent on her first ten queries; or assuming I likely will NOT be the next J.K. Rowling. I think too many times, we base our expectations on our needs and desires, rather than on what is realistic or on the special talents of those around us.

Publishing is filled with people who are passionate about stories and authors. It's probably not uncommon for an agent or editor to promise to read a manuscript this weekend and not get to it until next month, or a publisher to talk about their plans to promote your book in certain ways and then not follow through. Is this because the people who work in publishing are liars? No! It's because they are passionate people, they speak and promise out of their passion for our books, and I don't know about you, but I want passionate people on my side along for this journey. Even if it means being disappointed from time to time.

Another problem I've seen (and experienced) is taking things too personally.

My husband asked me these questions once and they really stuck with me:

What if you were driving along, minding your own business, maybe singing along to the radio, when a car came out of nowhere and cut you off. How would you feel? What if the person driving didn't bother to even acknowledge that they had cut you off? How would you feel then?

I know how I would feel. First shocked, maybe scared they would hit me. Then angry, offended that they didn't even have the decency to look my way with a sorry look on their face.

But now...what if the car stopped at the next traffic light, you hopped out of your car to go give this guy/gal a piece of your mind, and as soon as you approached their car, you saw a child or an animal who was seriously injured in the backseat? Does your attitude change?

For me, this story has been life-changing, as I have tended to take things personally in the past in many areas of my life. But now I'm becoming more prone to thinking that people are generally good-natured, and chances are if they do something that makes me feel less than important or celebratory, they didn't mean it that way, or were possibly just very distracted with something serious in their own lives.

I wonder about your thoughts and journeys with expectations? Do you find positive thinking works better for you? Do you think you tend to have pretty realistic expectations, or do you find, like me, you're always finding areas you can adjust them?

Note: I'm feeling introspective today and my post is based on lots of stories I've heard through author-friends as well as my own. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the people who are on my team for this publishing journey, and I would hope this post in no way reflects badly on them. I honestly could not ask for a better group of people to work with!

Genres and Pseudonyms

First of all, thank you to all the people who entered my latest Bookshelf Giveaway! Again, I'm going to give away three books from the shelf. Drum roll, please...

signed copy of GUARDIAN OF THE GATE goes to Bookaholic (Jessica)!

REVOLUTION goes to kate at Read This Book!

signed copy of TORMENT goes to Courtneyreads

Congratulations to you all! Please send your mailing addresses to me at d (at) denisejaden (dot) com and I'll get them out in the mail to you as soon as I can.


Now that we have that little bit of business out of the way, I want to have a little chat about changing genres and pseudonyms. Oh, and did I mention that I have three fabulous books up for grabs to go with this discussion?

Back in May, I was fortunate enough to attend the Teen Author Carnival in New York. It was a blast, and among meeting many other amazing authors, I was able to meet squee-worthy Lauren Oliver. Lauren is the author of the highly acclaimed contemporary YA, BEFORE I FALL and a much-anticipated Dystopian YA, DELIRIUM.

I listened to Lauren and many of the authors at the carnival speak on panels, but one thing that Lauren said really stuck with me. Someone in the audience asked about why she had switched genres so early in her career, if it was a purposeful move, or if it was just the way her muse had called her. Lauren's answer surprised me.

She said that she switched to dystopian on purpose, to give herself some elbow room as a writer. Now I've always heard that as a new writer, it's best to stick with books of the same kind of feel/genre to brand yourself and create some expectation and fulfillment in your readers. Granted, with Lauren's blockbuster success and amazing prose, her readers would likely follow her anywhere. And I can understand her not wanting to get pigeonholed into writing books with an obvious formula. But maybe this isn't sound advice for every writer. Or maybe contemporary/dystopian is an easier switch than another genre jump like contemporary/fantasy would be. I don't know, what do you think?

Okay, so you might have guessed, I'm going to give away a copy of both BEFORE I FALL and DELIRIUM (they're both ARC's and I'll admit, neither of them are in pristine condition, but definitely readable).

The other book I'd like to give away (another ARC) is...

LOW RED MOON by Ivy Devlin. The back of this book says, "A powerful YA voice makes her paranormal debut with this breathless, spooky novel--a book to be devoured in one sitting."

Now I'm not sure if the publisher wants the real identity of this author to be made public, but that's not what I want to talk about here anyway. What I want to talk about, is why a pseudonym is used in this case. This is an established YA writer, with, let's say, at least five books of a certain "brand" already out there. I'm curious if you think this would have been the author's decision or the publisher's to publish it under a pseudonym? Was it a legal obligation because of switching publishers? I personally can't imagine having to keep up on two different online presences (two twitter, two blogs, two facebooks). Can you say overwhelming?

So I wonder if you're a writer... at what point would YOU publish under a pseudonym? Would you publish through as many publishers as possible using as many names as you had to in order to get your books out there? Would you do what Lauren Oliver did and try to give yourself some immediate "elbow room" or would you try to create a brand for yourself if you had the choice?

If you're not a writer, but a reader, I wonder what you think of pseudonyms and authors switching genres in general? Do you think the names get leaked in most cases anyway? Do you ever get annoyed when authors switch genres or do you find it refreshing? 

Tell me your thoughts in the comments to enter to win the above three books! (I can only mail to you if you're 13 or over and have a Canadian/U.S. mailing address, but I'd love to hear your thoughts regardless!)

Path to Publication: Two Months and Counting...

As of today, it's two months until my first book hits the bookstores! Actually, September 7th is what's known as the "soft release date", so my book could be found slightly before that. It's my understanding that it's usually only the huge books that everyone's waiting for that they give a hard release date to these days.

People have told me--back a year and a half ago when I couldn't believe how long I'd have to wait--that it WOULD go fast. And okay, yes, they were very, very right. I feel a little like my head is spinning now. I feel like I just posted a few days ago about being six months away from publication!

Anyway, here I am, and lots is happening in the pre-release phase of my life. I'm busy organizing a blog tour, which is going very well. I'm starting to hear about people who will be reviewing my book soon (though I actually haven't seen any real reviews yet - this keeps me on edge, just a little:). I'm still in the works of putting together a launch party, which will likely be September 18th, so if you're in the Vancouver area, keep that date open!

As far as the actual book goes, I've been done with that for quite a while now. My last phase of editing was the First Pass Pages, which I finished up several months ago. I'm still highly in love with my ARC (advance copy) of LOSING FAITH, and coddle it regularly.

My second book is done and with my agent, so I've managed to keep my head above water on the writing front during this whole path to publication (it has not been easy, but thankfully, I've had lots of friends kicking my...er, cheering me on).

Now my days feel both exciting and terrifying. I wake up not knowing whether I'll open my computer to find a tweet from one of my writing idols, or a review that might knock the wind out of me. But I'm thankful to be here, and I can't wait to tell you about the rest of the process as it happens.

Two months and counting...