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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Celebrating ALL Women Today!

Mother's Day is an interesting holiday. I don't deny that mothers give a lot of themselves for their kids--24/7 for many years beyond the ones when they're changing diapers or helping with homework. I agree that this deserves celebration. I have a wonderful mother, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her. Thanks for everything, Mom!

But I've looked at the holiday from a different perspective many times as well. As someone who has struggled to become a mom, struggled to sustain a pregnancy, our society and it's focus on Mother's Day can actually be pretty wounding. I can't tell you the amount of times I felt less-than on a Mother's Day because I couldn't do something that so many women seemingly achieved so naturally and easily.

Since then, of course, I've realized that is not necessarily the case. I can't count on my fingers and toes (even several times over) the amount of women who have contacted me after I post something about this on the blog and mention that they've struggled with something similar. And that they've struggled with feeling like less of a person on a day that celebrates mothers.

I've been blessed with a wonderful little boy who is nine now. This is after four miscarriages and one tubal pregnancy and many years of trying to conceive. I can't say that the parenting journey has always been easy either (even though I know I've had it really good compared to some). So I honor and salute all my friends who have endured the joys and sorrows of parenting. But I also honor and salute all of you who, for whatever reason, haven't. I salute you even more, because there are probably less of us that understand each other and can give each other (((cyber-hugs)))

Many blessings to all of my women friends today! May you be honored, cherished, and understood among your friends and family!

6 comments:

  1. It's very sad that we are sometimes made to feel "less than" either because of things we choose or because of things way beyond our control. I hope that thoughtful posts such as yours here, Denise, will help grow understanding and compassion.

    Sending love...

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    1. Thanks, Shari. Yes, it is sad. It's sad how many women I hear from who have felt so alone in this as well.

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  2. Thanx Denise for this. As you know I fit the category of never being able to have children and eventually had to become OK with that. I also do not have a mother in which to celebrate this day and just wish all mothers out there a great day. Therefore I totally understand you thoughts and feelings here. Hope you had an awesome Mother's Day-you deserve it!! (((cyber hugs))) to you too!

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    1. It's amazing how many women are in a similar position but are never able to talk about it. So glad you can be so open as well, Karen. For me, that really does help (and it brings people out of the woodwork who can relate).

      Thanks for the warm wishes!

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  3. I avoid everyone (online and offline) on Mother's Day for all the reasons you so eloquently stated. I always feel obligated to celebrate but rarely want to. On the surface my life looks perfect-- I have two kids. But achieving that dream took me through adoption, 10 years of infertility and a miscarriage. And you never forget those who aren't with you.
    Thank you Denise, for posting this and reminding us that it's a tough "holiday" for many.

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    1. Thanks for chiming in, Carolyn. It's so great to know we're not alone, isn't it?

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